Signs That Your Would-Be Date Will Bail Out On Your First Date




What if you meet someone online that you wanted to meet offline but then you suddenly lost interest or you discovered something that is a deal-breaker; would you tell that person to cancel the offline date or are you going to make an excuse? If you cancel the date straightforward, he or she might be disappointed but at least you cut the ties earlier rather than wasting time or hurting his or her feelings even more.

Some people from dating sites are afraid to say frankly that they don’t want to meet anymore to avoid disappointments. What they do not realize is that they make further damage when they lie. So how are you going to know if someone is not going to show up?

Before you waste your time or have your worst date ever, it is important to read between the lines in your online communication.


Here are the most common signs that your would-be date will bail out.


  • Sudden change of plans

Schitts Creek Wink GIF by CBC - Find & Share on GIPHY


An advanced notice about changing the time or place of meeting is normal because it can be awkward or the person might be nervous but a consecutive change of plan is a sign of finding a way out. Just when you found a perfect place, he will suggest something far or more difficult for you to go to. Or just when you are free to go, he will suggest a time when you will not be available because you have told him your schedule.


  • Sudden silence

Your messages are suddenly unanswered whereas communication was very easy before. You might experience the “seen mode” and will be wondering why. If it goes on for a short period of time or a few hours before the agreed time, it is okay as there might be some unforeseen events that happened. However, if there are only one two hours left and you still haven’t heard anything, cancel the date.

  • Tries to get on your nerves

Angry Inside Out GIF by Disney Pixar - Find & Share on GIPHY


If he becomes offensive suddenly without any reason, it might be a tactic to get you to ignore him. He may attack you with words to make you feel angry and you will end up canceling the date.

  • Sends you a message which is for someone else.

This is rare but it happens. This is also a big blow to you if you experience this. This is a signal that he has found someone else and purposely sent you a message which is meant for someone else.





What Should You Do If Your Would-Be Offline Date Is Showing These Signs?



  • Get a confirmation

Before going on an offline date, make sure to confirm. If there is no answer, then the answer is no. You don’t want to appear pushy but you don’t want to appear like a fool waiting for nothing as well. Send a message an advance.

  • Make a backup plan

Planning GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY


Okay, so you went to the place anyway even though there are hints that he has other plans. What are you going to do if you end up alone? Get in touch with a friend to go somewhere else. Even if it is not a backup plan, make sure to let somebody that you trust know about the date for safety purposes.

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20 Responses

  1. Vinil says:

    Wow… I hear so many stories of people bailing out on an offline date. It looks it happens often. But I don’t know of too many people who have had someone bail out on them on a date. If they did, they’ve informed prior to it.

  2. Maria says:

    So helpful, fun and interesting, thank you for sharing!

  3. Arisa Chow says:

    Lol interesting read and insight about dates thanks for sharing

  4. The cat with Military Strategy book Meme is hilarious! xD

  5. K. Lee Banks says:

    I met my current hubby through online dating (14 1/2 years ago!), and we met in a public place the first time we met offline. HOWEVER, before meeting him, I had a mix of no shows, silence, or those I wish had backed out!

  6. Sharon Lee says:

    Stay safe and precautions no matter what happen and where you are! Thanks for sharing! Better keep these in mind.

  7. Chuojashni Subramaniam says:

    This is so true. Been there and done that!

  8. Jane says:

    Useful information for my friend. I totally agreed with you on this.

  9. Hui Ying Fong says:

    for the sudden silence will make me unhappy, like the group chat, just like typing for myself~~

  10. Tasha Juli says:

    Too funny! I’m married now, but attempted online dating for like, 2 seconds because it was so bad.
    Tasha Juli

  11. Shannon says:

    I agree with the sending a message which is intentionally. There was a guy that I know once did that to me.

  12. yanrula says:

    Hate it when people (not date only) do that LOL. Waste all my efforts in planning the day and getting all excited about it hahahah

  13. Anna says:

    I agree with you on the “sudden change of plans” usually it a red flag and you should go with your gut feeling.

  14. Miera says:

    I always let people down gently. Huhuh.. I think I am too soft hearted sometimes

  15. Kathy says:

    Someone should always let the other person know if they’ll make it or not, regardless if it’s for a date or other appointments/meetup. It is better to be honest than leave a person hanging.

  16. Tengkubutang says:

    agree with all above.. thanks for the tips.. hope this tips useful

  17. Emily says:

    Even if one doesn’t want to go on a relationship, it doesn’t meant that one should meet up. There is something called friendship, after all.

  18. Man I have been stood up before and it is not a nice feeling at all. I had someone change plans three times and in the end I stopped making the effort because its clear that he would never change. I have a dating disaster series on my blog that I would love you to be a part of give me an email if you are interested!

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